 |
| Match Details |
| Round |
Round 6 |
| Opposition |
Souths Juniors |
| Date |
10-Nov-2001 & 17-Nov-2001 |
| Ground |
Centennial Pk |
| Match Summary |
| Result |
|
| Kurrajong Gypsies 1st innings |
8 wickets, 205 runs
|
| Souths Juniors 1st innings |
all out, 140 runs
|
| Match Report |
Volume 9, Round 6
Glebe Gypsies v Souths Juniors
A few weeks ago, after fulfilling the only obligation of my nominal citizenship of this sun drenched province, I took a leisurely stroll home through Sydney's arboreal island of Centennial Park. On a spring day, made glorious summer by warm winds from the north, the prospect of a pleasant perambulation was more than I could resist. An added advantage to this route is the park's plethora of public conveniences. After a good morning's participation in the great edifice that is democracy, one never knows when the urge might take one - and sure enough, not half way 'round, I found myself beating a path to one of its 'beats'.
A few hours later as I exited the steamy besser-brick natatorium, I rubbed my foggy glasses and could not believe my luck. Before me was a game of cricket! Few things in life give me more delicious pleasure than to surreptitiously espy healthy young men spiritedly crossing swords and so, avoiding the scandalously attired traffic of female rollerbladers, I made my way across the road to a voyeuristic vantage point. On closer inspection, the participants proved to be not so young and far from healthy. Though far from schoolboys, this tussle excited my curiosity and before long I found myself glued to my seat - ironically, just as I had been a few minutes earlier in one of the cubicles.
"Souths Juniors", I read from a protective box, provocatively positioned atop a sweat-stained thigh pad. Versus,....."The Gypsies"?. At least one mystery was solved; that of the disappearance of Sydney High School's banner displaying their theatrical production from 1994. I never miss a show and love to encourage young boys of a theatrical persuasion in their performance. The reason for the game and the players however remained a mystery. Fortunately a few minutes earlier I had come across an acquaintance of mine, whom we shall call Mr B., who now joined me and managed to fill in all my gaps.
Mr B. is one of the finest exponents of administrative pedantry in the game. Sadly, this talent is under-appreciated in Australia. Had he been born in England he would surely have gone far in the game not least for his batting style; the wobbly-kneed drive and the weak-wristed pull still very much in fashion in the old country, particularly in the public schools. He told me this was not actually a game but 5th grade park cricket and it lived up to this billing. The opening pair for the Gypsies dourly removed the shine until one of them was himself removed and a run-out, reminiscent of a French bedroom farce, followed soon after. Back at Eton I had been told by my sports master, old 'Grippy' Fell-Chandler, that you could never back-up your partner too far and up until witnessing this run-out I had always assumed he was referring to cricket.
What was looking to be a steady collapse was momentarily halted by a partnership which, by virtue of its patience, forced bowling changes at either end which, I must say, should have been made after the first few overs for aesthetic reasons alone. I might be old-fashioned but shorts should never be worn in the absence of long, walk socks and sandals and never on the cricket field. I mentioned to Mr. B. that I detected a resemblance in these bowlers and he informed me they were in fact father and son. Actually my observation had not been familiar, but rather that they both resembled Narromine pigs and I lamented that an armed Glenn McGrath was not nearby.
Someone called 'Cilla' was out after drinks having previously been given 'not out' to a snick so loud it echoed round the urinal. With such a nom de plume, I resolved there and then to further make his acquaintance next time nature called him. A series of brilliant, unorthodox innings ensued from a Thomas Sharp, a 'Kitty', and a bespectacled spectacular from a Kevin Kahler -his long, lean sinewy form erect at the crease, the anitpodean sun glinting off his polished head. This is what cricket is all about, is it not? Sharp's innings in particular was a delightful display of spanking the like of which I haven't seen since a recent court order. My curiosity piqued, I resolved to see the resolution of this contest and booked a taxi with Mr. B. there and then.
The following Saturday was as hot and steamy as the last and outside the lavatory the weather was much the same. Like as the waves make towards the pebbled shore, so did Kev Kahler hasten Souths Juniors to their end. Ably assisted, it must be said, by the guile and Hassidic good looks of the Cohen brothers and something called Magic Yak from the other end.
Souths, due to their insistence on ill-fitting shorts, now exposed their not inconsiderable tail. The only thing preventing victory was the porcine pants paternity and the Gypsies themselves. I hadn't seen so many balls dropped since I coached the junior school swim team at Cranbrook. One chap, the enigmatically named Cilla, even attempted to catch one in his cleavage. Surely there were better-endowed candidates on the ground for such party pieces. Despite these woeful efforts they were eclipsed by the stupidity of the younger of the beach-clad bushpigs who persisted in hitting the ball in the air to the field and finally departed taking with him any hope of a Souths victory.The boy was clearly in need of discipline and I, were it not for the presence and girth of his father, would have taken to him with a firm hand, I can tell you!
After the match I followed the victors back to the Captain Cook Hotel to unobtrusively observe their celebrations. As their trousers were dropped, revealing buttocks that had seen better days and higher altitudes, I felt a thrill. Turning to Mr. B. I could see he was feeling it too. For a brief moment we had secretly shared in their success. Then we turned the lock to 'engaged' to share a brief moment, secretly |
|
|
| Kurrajong Gypsies 1st innings |
| Fenton-Smith, Ben |
40 |
| Masters, Tony |
6 |
| Barnett, Steve |
0 |
| Wawrzyniak, Andrew |
3 |
| Bradley, Steve |
25 |
| Sharp, Tom |
47 |
| Lebler, Jobie |
18 |
| Fenton-Smith, Will |
25 |
| Kahler, Kevin |
27* |
| Cohen, Nathan |
5* |
|
| Souths Juniors 1st innings |
| Cohen, Nathan |
14 overs, 3 for 27 |
| Bradley, Steve |
10 overs, 1 for 21 |
| Kahler, Kevin |
16 overs, 4 for 16 |
| Cohen, Lindsay |
5 overs, 0 for 19 |
| Wawrzyniak, Andrew |
4 overs, 1 for 20 |
| Barnett, Steve |
5 overs, 1 for 16 |
| Masters, Tony |
1 overs, 0 for 3 |
| Lebler, Jobie |
1 overs, 0 for 14 |
|
|
