 |
| Match Details |
| Round |
Round 1 |
| Opposition |
Randwick CYM |
| Date |
2-Dec-2001 |
| Ground |
Alexandria Pk |
| Match Summary |
| Result |
|
| Randwick CYM 1st innings |
all out, 183 runs
|
| Kurrajong Gypsies 1st innings |
6 wickets, 189 runs
|
| Match Report |
Volume 9, Round 1
Glebe Gypsies v Randwick
Lady's Day
Last September, to the utter disbelief of the television industry, the Gypsies were given the green light for a tenth series. Common sense had it that years of low ratings and dismal performances would see the show mothballed this summer. Many of it’s so-called “stars” were of the same opinion, openly offering their services elsewhere; Steve Bradley was set to star in a new medi-action series set in St Vincents’ Hospital, Don’t Rub Me the Wrong Way, while Professor Masters has wowed critics with his one-man comedy smash, A Crazy Kinda Chemistry. But it was the Gypsies’ antics at this year’s Logies, where they started a food fight with members of the Backyard Blitz cast and constantly sledged award winners that were thought to be the final straw for network executives. Never mind the Cohen brothers’ incident with Daryl Somers’ toupee.
Incredibly, the Gypsies have gone from strength to strength this year. New scripts, with plots such as actually winning matches, have seen a revival of their fortunes, particularly in the over-60s colostomy bag demographic. But this would all mean nothing if they failed to hold their audience in the biggest game of the season – Lady’s Day. Heavy promotion prior to the match would hopefully guarantee a bumper crowd. Junior appeared on The Ray Martin Show, where he called the eponymous host “a fat-arsed old has-been who wouldn’t know which end of a bat to stick up his arse”, and did a cameo in Changi as an emaciated POW.
Controversy raged at the selection table with the suspension of Stinky Barnett and the axing of his brother Moonface. Selectors were rumoured to be considering bringing in a special guest star for the occasion, but negotiations with Graham Kennedy’s management faltered when he was found to have died a week earlier – although some selectors felt that even dead his sledging would be better than some of the trash that’s been coming out of Futon Minorus’ mouth this season.
Filmed on location at Alexandria Park, the deck looked like Elliot Globite’s sex life; barren, slow and with nothing likely to get up all day. Randwick was asked early questions by the Gypsy attack but passed on all of them. Phone-a-friend was out for obvious reasons. Senior Constable Miller, of Real Cops fame, came dressed in full riot gear and offered to tear-gas the Randwick batsmen.
Then the crowd began to arrive – a cavalcade of Gypsy regulars and A-list hangers on, all high on the sweet smell of success, or maybe Bobo’s chickens. Tony Barber turned up with Kylie Minogue. Bert Newton, Richard Wilkins and Dame Joan Sutherland came clutching a bottle of Barossa Chardonnay. Dennis Cometti picked up Joanne Capper from the airport. Russell Crowe was there with Tom Cruise and even Gina Boon dropped in on the Channel 10 chopper with a couple of friends from the Chippendales. Julie Anthony was fortunately spotted by security and expelled before she could try to sing anything.
Randwick struggled to 186, mainly due to another inept catching display by the Gypsies. Junior ordered an immediate practice session in the ad-break and the side responded by ignoring him completely in favour of the superb banquet on offer. On the other side of the field, the disconsolate Randwickians spent their break trying to work out how to take the glad wrap off their sandwiches. As the teams prepared to take the field for the afternoon session, Junior got the Gypsies together and told everyone not to think the game was already won and to remain focused under pressure – not easy after 5 or 6 beers in the green room.
The Lady’s Day attendance record looked in some danger as the Gypsies’ innings took shape. Junior - desperate to avoid another drunken incident after the People’s Choice awards where he asked guest presenter Pamela Anderson on air if he could “show her his Tommy gun” - saw the only way he could avoid alcohol was to stay out in the middle. His only refreshment was some in-flight duty-free purchased from the drinks waiter. He was supported by George Clooney (23), playing under the pseudonym of Darrell Archer and Hammo (58), whose agent told him to score some runs if he ever wanted that spot on the Today Show. Cilla (22no) also got a few in uncharacteristically sober style (his team-mates were feeding him light beers) – and the Gypsies bolted home in front of the big crowd.
Tony Greig mounted the podium (and Magda Szubanski) to present the winners’ cheques, and first prize went to Tony Masters for his superb Dr Livingstone costume, and he seized the opportunity to plug his new series Carry On Up The Amazon in front of the assembled network executives. Second prize was a close contest between the Randwick umpire for giving 4 LBWs and the Gypsy Tabernacle Choir for their superb post-match rendition of the team song and pants-down salute to the beaten Randwickians. Sex sells and the Gypsies come cheap.
|
|
|
| Randwick CYM 1st innings |
| Kahler, Kevin |
18 overs, 4 for 45 |
| Cohen, Nathan |
7 overs, 1 for 23 |
| Chung, Ewen |
11 overs, 3 for 22 |
| Hamilton, Cameron |
9 overs, 0 for 27 |
| Bradley, Steve |
5 overs, 0 for 26 |
| Barnett, Tim |
9 overs, 1 for 29 |
| Archer, Darrell |
1 overs, 0 for 4 |
|
| Kurrajong Gypsies 1st innings |
| Gray, James |
47 |
| Fenton-Smith, Ben |
0 |
| Archer, Darrell |
23 |
| Hamilton, Cameron |
58 |
| Chung, Ewen |
13 |
| Bradley, Steve |
22* |
| Sharp, Tom |
8 |
| Barnett, Tim |
7* |
|
|
